Lost Wings

Lost Wings:
By Robin Nederlof.

I used to wonder where we would end.
Somewhere under or way up high?
Burned alive by the devil’s hand.
Or maybe a journey through the sky.

Demons and ghouls they are close.
Angels and saints, where are those?
I lost my wings a long time ago.
For a reason I don’t exactly know.

I am a beast with fangs and claws.
Desperately trying to return to the one I was.
All life around me, ripped apart by poisonous jaws.
And my dream drifts further, most likely a lost cause.

Once I was surrounded by white light.
Now I am covered in deep red blood.
Don't look at me it's a disgusting sight.
I live by vague memories, they are all I got.

I used to know who my comrades were.
The difference between right and wrong.
But my eyesight turned into a blur.
And my hearing long gone.

The need for pain and despair.
An aura that hangs around my lair.
Thirst for blood and flesh.
Made my mind turn into a mess.

What was white now is black.
Whispers in my mind.
I can’t get back on track.
No sight of the path I try to find.

Thoughts of the old me inside my brain.
I try to think about the past.
Which is too much, it drives me insane.
Sometimes I see them, but it doesn’t last.

I used to know my goal, the reason in life.
A job, a house, kids, my wife.
I died protecting these things.
It was how I earned my wings.

Love for the world, the human race.
Looked into the mirror, angelic face.
Pure as snow, smooth as silk.
Shiny as light, white as milk.

But as time passed by.
I turned bitter and went astray.
Felt like protecting one big lie.
Went to other side, cast away.

Hating the world, people on earth.
Looked into the mirror, devil’s birth.
Dark as night, rough as wasteland.
Everything I fought for, crumbled in my hand.

And I still try to recall, why I took the fall.
More memories come back to me with time.
For what reason couldn’t I stall.
This transformation, this crime.

Was it all because of her, the one I longed for?
Maybe my feelings for her turned me into this.
I remember the heart that was in my core.
Those beautiful red lips, I wanted to kiss.

You don’t even know how jealous I was.
When you married another man after my passing.
It felt like you didn’t care about your loss.
While I deeply believed our love was everlasting.

A jealous angel, I was asking for punishment.
And that’s exactly what happened to me.
Brought to my knees, while I tried to stand.
My wings were ripped from my body for all to see.

I was then tossed into the depths of the abyss.
The fall was never ending, at least that’s how it felt.
Time took away my dignity, my bliss.
It took away my looks, when skin started to melt.

When I finally woke up from those hellish loops of pain.
I stood up, only to see the person I used to fight.
He welcomed me with open arms, it seemed insane.
And yet I felt compelled to the darkness, not the light.

Different from before, I was now a creature of the night.
At first I thought I was at home, that I found my place.
But noticed that unlike the others, I could stand light.
Did this mean I was not given up, did I still have a face?

Now I start to wonder who or what I really am.
The urge to reclaim everything I was, my legacy.
This discarded body, this broken man.
Is finally ready to stand up, to come back, to be me.

It was you I blamed, you were the reason I fell.
But looking into the mirror now, I see I can.
I thought it was you who condemned me to this hell.
This place can no longer hold me, I will walk again.

My wings will return, my wings will grow.
Discarding the darkness and embracing the light.
I will fly again, because I need to know.
If you will be waiting for me, my reason to fight.